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t e l e m e t r y


t e l e m e t r y

transmissions from the galores

archive for September of 2005

car odorizers

posted by janet on September 25, 2005
Hanging car deodorizers are actually odorizers. What if they were realistic? You could have mundane smells like old feet, cabbage fart, cat piss, smoldering cigarette, dank mildew, bacon.

While you're at it, check out the "bacon/meat" section at Archie McPhee.

shiver me timbers

posted by janet on September 19, 2005
Today be International Talk Like A Pirate Day 2005!
edward teach (blackbeard)

Some ideas t' help you celebrate:
Ponder t' connection 'tween gangstahs and pirates
From Andrew at The Poor Man:
Has anyone else ever noticed the freaky one-to-one correspondence between pirate slang and gangstah rap slang? Seriously, the more you think about it, the more out of control it is.

fo'tiesbottles o' rum
bling blingbooty
Bee-atchScurvey dog
Pop a cap in yo ass Make you walk the plank
Beat downKeel haul
Wack MCLand lubber
Playah Swashbuckler
Mack DaddyCap'n
Jacking Plundering
RapSea Shanties
The jointThe brig

dawn at lokelani ranch

posted by janet on September 16, 2005
Sometimes the best way to remember a place is to hear it.

Listen to dawn at my friend Roland Barker's place near Sleeping Giant on Kauai. It's a lush 2-acre retreat, and you can pretty much live off the land there, getting fat and happy from coconuts, avocados, mangos, lettuces, and lychee.

Thank you to Roland for making the recording for me. This is much better than the sound I captured and lost.

when the levee breaks

posted by edward on September 03, 2005
"When The Levee Breaks"

If it keeps on rainin', levee's goin' to break, [X2]
When The Levee Breaks I'll have no place to stay.

Mean old levee taught me to weep and moan, [X2]
Got what it takes to make a mountain man leave his home,
Oh, well, oh, well, oh, well.

Don't it make you feel bad
When you're tryin' to find your way home,
You don't know which way to go?
If you're goin' down South
They go no work to do,
If you don't know about Chicago.

Cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
Now, cryin' won't help you, prayin' won't do you no good,
When the levee breaks, mama, you got to move.

All last night sat on the levee and moaned, [X2]
Thinkin' about me baby and my happy home.
Going, going to Chicago... Going to Chicago... Sorry but I can't take you...
Going down... going down now... going down....

disturbing voter mascots

posted by janet on September 03, 2005
Edward and I couldn't believe the design of our Seattle "Local Voters Pamphlet" for 2005 when we got it a couple of weeks ago—this is supposed to engender confidence?? Cathy Sorbo does a hilarious deconstruction in today's Saturday Spin column in the P-I.

The art direction seems more appropriate for a school lunch menu or an elementary school pamphlet explaining the birds and the bees. In fact, the pen seems to know just where to put her tip on the ballot. Weee!
seattle voters pamphlet

politicizing hurricane katrina - i'm all for it

posted by edward on September 02, 2005
A letter I sent to Congressman McDermot and Senator and Cantwell.

Dear _____,

The Gulf Coast Catastrophe was an act of nature, yet what we do about it remains in the hand's of man. What we must do is to devote as many resources to this genuine and continuing threat as we expend on the spurious threat posed by Iraq.

It would not be politicizing the disaster to say that resources diverted to Iraq have limited our ability to respond to Hurricane Katrina; it is a statement of fact. Had the Bush administration not denied Louisiana officials the funding necessary to shore up the levee's in New Orleans, much loss of life could have been avoided.

It is pathetic that the richest nation in the world must beg its citizens for donations to help the victims of Katrina. As a nation that has cut taxes to the rich while spending hundreds of billions in Iraq we must get our priorities straight.

I trust that you will continue your efforts to hold the Bush administration accountable for its pernicious policies.

Edward M. Galore

not sexy enough

posted by janet on September 02, 2005
From a Reuters article:
The former head of the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, the agency that handles the infrastructure of the nation's waterways, said the damage in New Orleans probably would have been much less extensive had flood-control efforts been fully funded over the years.

"Levees would have been higher, levees would have been bigger, there would have been other pumps put in," said Mike Parker, a former Mississippi congressman who headed the engineering agency from 2001 to 2002.

Parker also noted "If we do stuff now it's not going to have an effect tomorrow. These projects are huge, they're expensive and they're not sexy."

NOT SEXY? I guess it's naive of me to expect our leaders to make funding decisions based on reason.

not sexy
not sexy
Image: Vincent Laforet/Sipa Press

now that's sexy
Image: Associated Press

bumperstickers, t-shirts, band names, and thesis ideas

posted by edward on September 01, 2005
Bumperstickers, band names, and t-shirt slogans have a natural affinity for one another. It occurs to me that liberal arts thesis titles belong to the same class.

Thesis ideas
  • "Freedom isn't free, but Haliburton is getting one hell of a deal."

  • "Dungeons & Dragons and Christianity: creating the mundane from myth."

  • "What do you think about Bush now, you stupid fuck?"
  • Front of T-shirt:
    "Fantasy: Str 20 Dex 16 Con 18 Int 18 Wis 17 Cha 18"
    Back of T-shirt:
    "Reality: Str 12 Dex 9 Con 12 Int 13 Wis 13 Cha 7"

Band names
  • No Lefts on Denny
  • Monstrous Denali
  • Hippy Big Buckle [real band name]
  • Bad Feng Shui
  • The Assless Chaps
  • Wafting Patchouli